My Benedictine Story: The Testimony of an Oblate of St. Benedict’s Abbey, Part I

I am Denny Watson a Benedictine Oblate since 2020 living in the St. Louis metropolitan area and part of the Raven class of 1979. I am here to share my story on how St. Benedict’s Abbey and Benedictine College still calls me back today. I hope you find my story interesting and helpful in your Faith life going forward.

So, how did I find Atchisson Kansas and Benedictine College and Abbey?

As an Oblate telling one’s story is a challenge because I don’t want it to sound like it’s all about me but, only as it relates to my road into Benedictine Spiritually as outlined in The Rule Chapter 7: Humility, me will inevitably come out.

Unbeknownst to me at the time, my road to Benedictine Spiritually started when I was 7 after my dad passed on February 14, 1964. My mom struggled with a mental defect (bi-polar disorder) that was getting worse and in 1964 there was no real help so she drank a lot while hiding it from everyone.  That left me and my other siblings to live a challenging life.  I will come back to this story later.

So, how did I end up at Benedictine College?  Right after I graduated from high school, I thought I had my life all planned out with the girl I dated. She was my soul mate, or so I thought, as we made plans for college. I was a year older and was going to study accounting and she wanted to be a doctor. Well that all came crashing down on me the night of graduation after she said the relationship of more than two years was over.

At this point, I was lost. Everything good in my life was gone. I went to the University of Missouri-St. Louis for a semester but I was still lost and not pleased with classes of 100+ people. I wanted an education but not like this. It was like my life didn’t have any value or direction. 

I started spending time with other friends from high school that were attending Benedictine College and one of the girls invited me to come visit Benedictine for St. Patrick’s Day weekend. It sounded like a fun weekend and she would get me set up in one of the guy’s dorms. We weren’t dating but enjoyed being together with other friends.  

This is where the story gets exciting, I didn’t have a car so I decided to hitch hike from St. Louis to Atchison. I was really lucky to get a ride to Kansas City, and then to Leavenworth. I ended up in Leavenworth on highway 73 right in front of the prison where a big street sign said, “don’t pick up hitch hikers.” Using a pay phone at a gas station, I called the dorm phone of the girls I knew and they came to pick me up. 

It was Friday afternoon and classes were over just in time for dinner. That night everyone was going to Jackson Park for a kegger, that was a thing back in the 1970’s with students, Monks and professors. The keggers were even advertised in the student newspaper! 

The next day was a basketball game in the afternoon and then dinner, it was Taco Night. The evening was just hanging out on campus playing Frisbee and spending time in the Roost (Haverty Center) to drink Coors and smoke cigarettes. Again, it was the 70’s.

Sunday morning, I went to the all-school Mass at the Abbey and was going to hitchhike back to St. Louis.  Other students were asking around to find if there was anyone who could drive me to I-29. Then, one of the Monks said they were going to St. Louis on Monday after mid-day Mass and asked if I could hang around until then for a ride back home. That was my first encounter with Benedictine hospitality and I jumped at it. I didn’t have to be concerned about getting home.

I was given instructions where to meet the Monks after mass in St. Benedict Hall and as I was sitting on a chair in the hallway, Sr. Mary Irene Nowell came up and started a conversation. She was an assistant dean of students at the time and her kind heart and face somehow talked me into filling out a student application before I left and gave me the address of where to send all my transcripts and SAT scores.  

My ride back to St. Louis was an eye opener as the Monks prayed the entire ride. I had never prayed in the way the Monks did and it was actually very humbling. I liked praying this way probably because it was something new to me and the Monks made me feel welcome.    

Now I am back in St. Louis and getting excited about going to Benedictine College. It showed me a light in the darkness I was encountering.  I would like to take us back for a moment to my story when I was 14.  At that age, I was struggling with my family situation at the same time as getting ready to enter high school. I was a really shy kid and poor as dirt, so I went outside and sat in the side yard where I had sat years ago watching and waiting for my dad to come around the bend on his way home from work. I was just sitting and thinking of how much I missed my dad and how I could really use his gentle voice to calm my fears. He was good at that for me. 

As I was sitting in that side yard with no one around, everything disappeared from my vision. Then a voice came into my mind and said simply, “Denis, your dad is with me.” I knew that it was Jesus Christ speaking so, what did I do? I asked if I could talk to dad. My answer back was simple; it doesn’t work like that here but I know your fear and you will be fine. Good answer for a 14-year-old. There was more to this conversation but those words didn’t manifest themselves to me until later in life.

It seemed like we were talking for some time and then it was over in just a moment, and there I was back looking down the street as a changed boy. I got up and went on with my life but the fear was gone. I am now 70 years old and never told this event to anyone including my wife and children until a few years ago when I was at the Abbey for a retreat with Fr. Jay. Fr. Jay told me that this is really an important event in my life and I should share it with others. After some time I finally shared this event because I thought it was important to my friends and family to know in this secular world that God does exist but you have to be willing to listen, as the prologue of the Rule opens to us, “Listen carefully, my son, to the master’s instruction.

As heartwarming as this sounds, I still had a lot of issues to work through. As I said earlier, I was excited about going to Benedictine College but I knew that mom would not be happy for whatever reason. Over the years mom would cause trouble for me at work where she would just show up and make a scene. During the summer I worked for our local municipality as a lifeguard, teaching swimming lessons, and doing pool maintenance. I started working from 6 AM to 9 PM every day.  While mom worked, I would take a break from my jobs and ride my bike back home to intercept any mail from Benedictine as I waited for my acceptance letter. I wanted to keep it a secret from her and I did. 

My sister had a car and she drove me to Atchison and promised not to tell mom where I was, which was nothing new as I had spent much of my last two years of high school not living at home. I showed up to campus on a Monday morning a few days late with my two pillow cases of stuff. I missed freshman orientation but still had a beanie. 

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was home.  I made a lot of friends that I still stay in touch with today. But, by mid-October I knew something wasn't right. After checking my mailbox, I was walking back from the Roost with Fr. Hugh Keefer and he asked me how things were going. For some reason I just broke down to him. This is where those words of Christ, “you will be fine” come into play again. Fr. Hugh took me under his wings and introduced me to several other Monks and Professors to go over my life to this point and to explain to me what living in a dysfunctional family had done to mental health. I had no idea that I was really in need of professional help but here it was just dropped into my lap just as The Rule states in Chapter 72, “This, then, is the good zeal which Monks must foster with fervent love. Supporting with the greatest patience one another’s weakness.”

It took several weeks of counseling before it all sank in, but I came to understand the dysfunction I was living in and a new world opened up to me. I left all that trash behind. Fr. Hugh said it was time to let my mom know where I was and the dorm floor phone number just in case something happened back home that I needed to know. I sent mom a letter and sometime before Thanksgiving I got a phone call at 3 AM. I was really concerned after one of the other dorm mates answered the phone and got me. I answered thinking something was really wrong but mom had been drinking and called to curse me out. I took it all with a grain of salt and waited until she was done before I spoke. I just said to her, be happy for me, I am at a great Catholic College getting an even greater education. I told her I was sorry for not telling her where I was but I told her it was because I didn’t want to get into an argument like she had just done on the phone. I asked her not to call me unless it was a real emergency. 

That was one of the last conversations we had, but she did send me a few notes in the mail with a few dollars enclosed. I took it as a peace offering and had a beer on her. I went home for Christmas and was able to work part time so I didn’t spend much time at home. By now Benedictine soccer and basketball games were held in the St. Louis area over the Christmas break and I was hanging around with the Benedictine students that lived in St. Louis.